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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Rights of a Slut

WARNING: The following post involves talk about rape and sexual assault.

Beginning this last April, SlutWalk is a new movement of protest which began when a Toronto Police officer suggested that if women didn't want to be raped they should "avoid dressing like sluts." The protests have moved from Canada into the United States. People gather in larger cities, protesting the rape culture and slut shaming that threatens women. But wait, maybe we should start with what exactly rape culture and slut shaming is.

Rape culture is the phrase used to describe how victims of rape are being made to feel guilty about what happened to them based on what they were wearing or how they were acting. It's the idea that parents should teach their daughters how to avoid rape instead of teaching their sons to not rape. It's women who are afraid to go to the police because they will be accused of leading their attackers on. One of the strongest contributors to rape culture is slut shaming, the idea that women who dress or act in ways deemed "slutty" are less worthy and deserve ridicule and abuse. It's the idea that other women should police a slut's behavior. It's the idea that men shouldn't feel ashamed for using a slut, because they have no feelings.

There's a lot to take in from SlutWalk and the idea that some people can blame a victim of assault or rape. I'm glad this movement is expanding and I hope it in some way brings more awareness to the horrible ways people use sexuality against women. But it leaves a big question that I can't find the answer to.

What I can't figure out is what makes someone a slut.

Oh, I know the common answers. A slut is a woman who has a lot of sex, or is open to having sex, or enjoys sex. But what qualifies as a lot of sex? A woman who has sex with her husband once a day, is she a slut? A college girl who has sex every once in a while, is she a slut? What about a girl who masturbates a lot? Is she a slut? Is it the clothing? Does what a woman wear signify to the world that she has enough sex to qualify as a slut? Or the way she talks. Do sex jokes mean she's a slut? What if she's open about her sexuality?

But what about men? Don't they get ridiculed if they're sexually active?

According to some sources there are twenty some words for males who have a lot of sex. Almost all of these words are positive. There are over two hundred words for women who have sex. Almost all of these are negative. So why the difference? Why are women being warned away from sex while men are encouraged? And why is it that when a woman acts a certain way she is considered a slut and therefore worth less than other women?

Why is he a stud while she's a slut?

A few weeks ago our Intercultural Director and I lead a workshop about the importance of words and why they matter. During the workshop he asked a question that never got resolved. So I ask you, dear reader, to answer this question.

What makes someone a slut?

And furthermore, even if someone is a slut, does she deserve a police officer telling her that if she is to blame for something as vile as rape?

Until next time,
Izzy

Friday, October 21, 2011

LGBTQ Panel

Last year One Iowa started the LGBTQ Panel. The panel was filled with students and faculty who either identified as an ally or as lesbian, gay, bisexual,and transgendered. The panel opened up new doors for Central. It allowed students and faculty to engage in a safe open conversation on topics related to LGBTQ.

This year, the LGBTQ Panel was held again in the Vermeer Science Building. I once again was able to participate on the panel as a bisexual woman on campus. I was a little nervous to do so because you never know the reactions of people, but this year was great! There was a great conversation between the panelists and the audience. The audience and the panelists both remained very respectful to eachother. I also felt that both parties walked away learning a little bit more than before.

At this particular panel several questions ranging from coming out stories to what rights should lgbtq person get were asked. One thing that struck me during the questions was the willingness of all the panelists to share their story. They were willing to open up a part of their lives to help people understand a little bit more. As I was sitting there on the panel, I felt kinda proud to be there. I was proud to be next to people that were brave enough to share so much.

This really made me think about how I approach people who seem hostile or unwilling to budge on the subject of LGBTQ rights. Normally, I just get fed up and walk away, but the panel taught me that with some patience and respect for eachother both parties can walk away with a different opinion. I am not saying either parties will come to an agreement, but both parties will learn a little bit more about the other.

Now whenever I am faced with an issue, I think back to the panel and take a deep breath. I remember the patience, respect, and honesty all the panelists gave. From there I move forward, and have found in most cases it has led to a better understanding.

I encourage everyone to try it!!

have a lovely friday!
Shelby

p.s. some new events that are coming up! Walk a Mile in Her Shoes and Dutch in Drag. Also be looking out for a Hot Topix Workshop!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Not For Polite Company

There's something about college that is intoxicating. I think it's the freedom, the idea that you can do whatever you want with only yourself to blame if it ends badly and yourself to praise if it ends wonderfully. Professors don't call your parents if you miss class. There are multiple options for lunch and you don't need an off campus pass if you want to go to McDonald's. Anything you want to do, anything you want to say, you can.

Unfortunately that apply to everyone else. People can do and say what they want. And sometimes people don't say nice things. Sometimes we don't say nice things.

Offensive and attacking language is everywhere on college campuses. Words that would be censored on TV or the radio are thrown around lazily. Occasionally someone will reprimand offensive language, but not often. And what happens when someone does call out offensive languages? Usually it'll be laughed off or ignored.

Last Tuesday the Sophomore Series featured Brandyn Woodard from Intercultural Life, with a little assistance from your own Intercultural Educator, Izzy. Okay it was maybe 50/50. Our presentation was call "Just Words?" and looked at the impact of offensive language on the community as a whole. The sophomores who attended were positively adorable and surprisingly lacking in offensive language. One activity involved writing as many offensive names as possible and I was impressed with how few racial or gendered insults there were. The classics were all listed but that was about it. So, either our group was being polite or they really didn't know that many offensive insults.

There was a lot of conversations. A lot of questions and answers. And eventually there was the classic Brandyn speech (a complimentary term) in which he talked about the community that was our college and how attacking a person with offensive language attacks the whole community.

So, dear reader, how do you feel about offensive language? How do you feel about insults directed towards someone's race, gender, sexuality, intelligence, or religion? Do they belong on our campus?

Until next time,
Izzy

Friday, September 23, 2011

The Magician

This Wedsenday was the start of a new school year for Intercultural Life! We had our first artist, Gabriela Garcia Medina, come to campus. As a new Intercultural Educator I was a little nervous about how the whole event would go and how things went, but when Wedsenday came along I was pumped to meet Gabriela!

On Tuesday night, I spent some time checking out all of her poetry. As I was sitting there in my pajamas getting ready for bed reading through all of her poems, I was truly amazed. This woman had a talent! I couldn't wait to meet her on Wedsenday.

Once Wedsenday rolled around, I watched the clock very closely so I wouldn't be late for dinner. Jesse and I got to dinner a little bit earlier than everyone else so we sat there by ourselves for a bit. After a couple of minutes, a cute nicely dressed (Her outfit was adorable!) woman came in with Lupita. It was Gabriela. She greeted us with a spunky hello. I noted very quickly that she was the type of person that was bubbly and didn't have any trouble saying what was on her mind.

After everyone had gotten there, we began dinner. I was super excited because Gabriela was vegan, which meant that the whole meal was vegan (aka: I could eat it). I was a little anxious about Catering making vegan food, but the food ended up being delicious.

During dinner we had some nice conversations about what inspired Gabriela to travel around visiting colleges doing spoken word. She talked about how she opened for Black Eyed Peas and Pitbull. She told us that she realized she wanted to do work with colleges when one guy had asked her to open for him and he paid her fifty dollars. At the time, she thought this was great! When she realized how much she had been paid, she thought about how she could do this for living. It worked out for Gabriela. She has a talent and a love to write and share her poetry. She is good at it, too! So that is how she began her career.

After dinner we all headed over to cox snow for the show. The atmosphere felt perfect there. The lighting and the closeness of the stage made the show much more intimate.

Once everyone had arrived, Gabriela started the show. One of the first poems she read was her poem called "Magician". She talked about how her parents were able to turn something into nothing. Even when her parents didn't have much money, they were able to make a feast for their whole family. One of the things she said really struck with me. She described how she wanted a tree for Christmas, but her parents really couldn't afford one. A christmas tree was a luxury. When Gabriela woke up for Christmas; however, there was a tree with lights and ornaments. Her mother had made a christmas tree out of a plant. As a child this was like magic to her.

As the night continued she shared many poems with us. Her performances invoked a plethora of feelings from the audience. We laughed at her Lingerie poem. We felt despair when she shared her poem on 4 women in abusive situations. Some of us felt sympathy for her when she described how she couldn't cook.

By the end of her first couple of poems the audience ,including me, had grown to love Gabriela. She seemed like this powerful woman. She was funny, artistic,and compassionate towards life.

As the night came to a close she gave us a background story to her last poem. She told us how she had a stalker who had written her all of his deepest darkest secrets. Because of this, she felt compelled to share with her audience her deepest darkest secrets. She said she wanted us to see her beyond her performance, but as a human being that is not always perfect.

I won't reveal what she said in her last poem because you just had to see it, but her last poem was the most meaningful to me. She made me, as well as many of the audience members, feel a little closer to her. She was no longer just this performer on a pedestal, but she was a human being that we could relate to. I really appreciated this last poem.

Ultimately, I loved having the chance to meet Gabriela, and hope that we can bring her back to campus so more of you can see her great performace!

Have a lovely friday!
Shelby