Domestic violence is a serious issue that is often looked down upon and kept secret in communities. Terri Jendusa Nicolai spoke last week about her abusive relationship with her ex-husband that almost cost her life. Although, Terri had been through hardships most of us will never have to experience, she has a positive outlook and a great sense of humor.
Terri stated, just as many other victims of domestic violence do, that her husband did not show very many signs that he was abusive at first. She said his seemingly "loving" habits were actually controlling habits. For example, when she would want to see a movie with her sister, he would tell her he wanted to take her. However, they would rarely do things Terri wanted to do and as time went on she became more secluded from her family.
On the night of their first day of marriage her ex husband hit her several times in the head because she didn't want to eat what he wanted her to eat. At first she thought she would just leave him, but the thought of not having financial stability and being a single mother led her to put up with his abusive behavior. Eventually, she finally left her ex husband in fear that her two daughters would be abused and that they were constantly living in fear.
Her ex-husband then continued to try and control her by making her change babysitters and having multiple custody hearings. However, when Terri remarried he realized he had lost all control of her. Therefore, he decided to coax her into his home, beat her to the point of near death, and place her in a garbage can. He then placed the garbage can in a storage facility with freezing temperatures. The police eventually found Terri barely alive and took her to the hospital, luckily she only had to get her toes amputated.
Terri's chilling story reminds us that we should be very observant about our partners or any other person we have reliationships with. They should never be abusive verbally or physically. Often the signs are being controlling, pushing other loved ones away, saying hurtful things when they are upset, and if one of the parents are abusive.
Terri was just happy to be alive and blessed with three children, one of which with her new husband. She was very clear that she believed God was the reason for her survival and she believes it is her purpose to spread her story to help others before they get into these type of situations. I'm glad I was able to see her speak and listen to her positive outlook, it made me more appreciative towards domestic violence cases. There are many shelters around the U.S. and they are always donation locations-anything from shampoo and toys can be donated for these families. Anyone that wants to donate can bring it up to the Intercultural Life Office.
Felicia
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