WARNING: The following post involves talk about rape and sexual assault.
Beginning this last April, SlutWalk is a new movement of protest which began when a Toronto Police officer suggested that if women didn't want to be raped they should "avoid dressing like sluts." The protests have moved from Canada into the United States. People gather in larger cities, protesting the rape culture and slut shaming that threatens women. But wait, maybe we should start with what exactly rape culture and slut shaming is.
Rape culture is the phrase used to describe how victims of rape are being made to feel guilty about what happened to them based on what they were wearing or how they were acting. It's the idea that parents should teach their daughters how to avoid rape instead of teaching their sons to not rape. It's women who are afraid to go to the police because they will be accused of leading their attackers on. One of the strongest contributors to rape culture is slut shaming, the idea that women who dress or act in ways deemed "slutty" are less worthy and deserve ridicule and abuse. It's the idea that other women should police a slut's behavior. It's the idea that men shouldn't feel ashamed for using a slut, because they have no feelings.
There's a lot to take in from SlutWalk and the idea that some people can blame a victim of assault or rape. I'm glad this movement is expanding and I hope it in some way brings more awareness to the horrible ways people use sexuality against women. But it leaves a big question that I can't find the answer to.
What I can't figure out is what makes someone a slut.
Oh, I know the common answers. A slut is a woman who has a lot of sex, or is open to having sex, or enjoys sex. But what qualifies as a lot of sex? A woman who has sex with her husband once a day, is she a slut? A college girl who has sex every once in a while, is she a slut? What about a girl who masturbates a lot? Is she a slut? Is it the clothing? Does what a woman wear signify to the world that she has enough sex to qualify as a slut? Or the way she talks. Do sex jokes mean she's a slut? What if she's open about her sexuality?
But what about men? Don't they get ridiculed if they're sexually active?
According to some sources there are twenty some words for males who have a lot of sex. Almost all of these words are positive. There are over two hundred words for women who have sex. Almost all of these are negative. So why the difference? Why are women being warned away from sex while men are encouraged? And why is it that when a woman acts a certain way she is considered a slut and therefore worth less than other women?
Why is he a stud while she's a slut?
A few weeks ago our Intercultural Director and I lead a workshop about the importance of words and why they matter. During the workshop he asked a question that never got resolved. So I ask you, dear reader, to answer this question.
What makes someone a slut?
And furthermore, even if someone is a slut, does she deserve a police officer telling her that if she is to blame for something as vile as rape?
Until next time,
Izzy
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